手機(jī)版
There are lots of ways to improve your self-confidence over the long-term – but sometimes you need an instant boost. You can't walk into an important work meeting, （or a class at college or a room full of strangers at a party） whilst frantically re-reading a self-help manual, or making a last-minute phone call to your life-coach. So here are ten secrets to boosting your self-confidence in just a few seconds…
在一段長(zhǎng)時(shí)間內(nèi)，用來(lái)提升自信的方法有許多種--但是，有時(shí)候我們卻需要一種即時(shí)的激勵(lì)。相信，誰(shuí)也不能夠在匆忙地再次閱讀一本自助手冊(cè)，或者給你的生活導(dǎo)師通完電話之后就能夠馬上信心十足地投入一個(gè)重要的工作會(huì)議，或開(kāi)始大學(xué)課程或者參加一個(gè)全是素不相識(shí)之人的聚會(huì)。所以，下面就為大家介紹在數(shù)秒鐘之內(nèi)激發(fā)自信的10個(gè)秘訣……
1. Smile
The one-second tip for when you're feeling nervous and unconfident is simply to smile! You don't just smile because you are happy and confident – you can smile to make yourself feel better. The act of smiling is so strongly associated with positive feelings that it's almost impossible to feel bad while smiling.
Smiling is much more then just a facial expression. The simple act of smiling releases feel-good endorphins, improves circulation to the face, makes you feel good about yourself in general and can definitely increase your self confidence. … you will also appear more confident to others while you're smiling.
秘訣之一： 微笑
在你感到焦慮不安、缺乏信心之時(shí)，使你即刻解脫的秘訣是--非常簡(jiǎn)單--微笑！我們不只在心中充滿(mǎn)喜悅和自信的時(shí)候才可以微笑--我們也可以用微笑來(lái)讓自己感覺(jué)好一些。微笑這一行為與正面積極的情感如此緊密地聯(lián)系在一起，所以當(dāng)你微笑時(shí)，你感覺(jué)沮喪的幾率微乎其微。
微笑絕不僅僅只是一種普通的面部表情。微笑，這一簡(jiǎn)單的面部表情，可以釋放使人感到不錯(cuò)的內(nèi)啡肽，可以增強(qiáng)面部血液循環(huán)，可以讓你感覺(jué)自己全身順暢，當(dāng)然也就能夠提升你的自信……所以，當(dāng)你微笑的時(shí)候，在別人眼里你就會(huì)更顯得自信。
2. Make eye contact
As well as smiling, meet the eyes of other people in the room. Give them your smile; you'll almost certainly get one back, and being smiled at is a great self-confidence boost. Like smiling, eye contact shows people that you're confident. Staring at your shoes or at the table reinforces your feelings of self-doubt and shyness. This tip is particularly useful for work-related situations – make eye contact with interviewers, or with the audience for your presentation:
Eye contact helps take the fear away from the speaker by getting the audience closer to him. Stress is mainly a result of being with the unknown and uncontrollable. Eye contact gives the speaker a picture of the reality that is the audience. It also helps in getting the attention of the audience.
秘訣之二： 保持目光接觸
像保持微笑一樣，你還需要保持與房間內(nèi)的其他人都有目光接觸。先對(duì)他人微笑，幾乎總會(huì)有人回應(yīng)你的微笑，這樣的回應(yīng)就會(huì)激勵(lì)你的自信。微笑與目光接觸一樣，都表明你是個(gè)自信的人。相反，一味地盯著自己的鞋子或桌子則會(huì)讓你顯得更加缺少自信甚至害羞。這一條秘訣在工作相關(guān)的場(chǎng)合相當(dāng)實(shí)用--求職者要與面試官保持目光接觸，產(chǎn)品推介者則要與你的受眾保持目光接觸。
保持目光接觸可以拉近聽(tīng)眾與演講者之間的距離，從而使他們擺脫緊張的氣氛。而緊張則往往是由于演講者面對(duì)素不相識(shí)的人或無(wú)法掌控的形勢(shì)而產(chǎn)生的。目光的接觸則可以為演講者提供受眾的真實(shí)面貌--對(duì)方只是聽(tīng)眾而已。同時(shí)，目光的接觸還有益于吸引觀眾的注意力。
3. Change your inner voice
Most of us have a critical inner voice that tells us we're stupid, not good enough, that we're too fat, thin, loud, quiet… Being able to change that inner voice is key to feeling self-confident on the inside, which will help you project your confidence to the world. Make your inner voice a supportive friend who knows you fully but also recognizes your talents and gifts, and wants you to make the best of yourself.
You still want to be able to hear the message, so don't make it so chilled and laid back that you never take any notice of it. You can even choose 2, 3 or as many voices as you want for different occasions. Your voice should always support you, always be helpful, never aggressive and it never puts you down.
秘訣之三： 改變你心中發(fā)出的聲音
大多數(shù)人的內(nèi)心都有這樣一種聲音，那個(gè)聲音告訴我們：我們太蠢了、不夠優(yōu)秀、我們太胖了、太瘦了、聲音太大了、聲音太小了……改變我們心中的聲音才是使自己從內(nèi)心感到自信起來(lái)的關(guān)鍵，這也同樣有助于我們向世人展示自己的自信。要學(xué)會(huì)控制自己心中的聲音，使其成為完全了解自己并同時(shí)認(rèn)可你自己的才能及天賦的一個(gè)朋友，這個(gè)朋友希望你達(dá)到自己的最佳狀態(tài)。
當(dāng)然，這樣的聲音你也必須要聽(tīng)進(jìn)去，隨之產(chǎn)生反應(yīng)。所以，不要使其過(guò)于麻木或消極，對(duì)此置若罔聞。你甚至可以根據(jù)不同的場(chǎng)合，選擇兩三句甚至更多的發(fā)自?xún)?nèi)心話語(yǔ)。但是這些聲音都必須樂(lè)觀積極、于你有益，永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)使你過(guò)度自信，也不會(huì)使你灰心喪氣。
4. Forget other people's standards
Whatever the situation that's causing you a crisis of self-confidence, you can help yourself immeasurably by holding yourself to your own standards alone. Other people have different values from you, and however hard you try, you'll never please everyone all of the time. Don't worry that people will think you're too overweight, underweight, too feckless, too boring, too frugal, too frivolous … hold yourself to your standards, not some imagined standards belonging to others. And remember that commonly-held values and standards vary from society to society: you don't have to accept them just because the people around you do.
People's values define what they want personally, but morals define what the society around those people want for them. Certain behaviors are considered to be desirable by a given society, while others are considered to be undesirable. For the most part, however, morals are not written in stone, or proclaimed by God above, but instead reflect local sensibilities. Different societies have different ideas about what is acceptable and not acceptable.
秘訣之四： 拋開(kāi)他人價(jià)值認(rèn)定標(biāo)準(zhǔn)
不管是什么情況所導(dǎo)致的自信危機(jī)，你都可以進(jìn)行最大限度的自我調(diào)節(jié)，方法是--堅(jiān)持自己所認(rèn)定的價(jià)值標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。人與人的價(jià)值觀是不同的，不管我們?cè)趺磁�，都不可能永久取悅身邊的每個(gè)人。對(duì)于他人的想法，諸如--別人會(huì)認(rèn)為我們過(guò)于胖了、過(guò)于瘦了、太軟弱了、太沒(méi)趣了、太節(jié)儉了、太輕佻了等等，你根本不必太在意，堅(jiān)持自己所認(rèn)定的價(jià)值標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，而不是想象之中他人所認(rèn)定的價(jià)值標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。而且，務(wù)必謹(jǐn)記，大眾所認(rèn)為的價(jià)值觀和標(biāo)準(zhǔn)會(huì)隨著社會(huì)的改變而改變：我們完全沒(méi)有必要因?yàn)樽陨碇車(chē)娝魉鶠槎黄冉邮芩麄兊膬r(jià)值標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
人們的價(jià)值觀清楚地說(shuō)明了他們自己想要些什么，而道德標(biāo)準(zhǔn)則清楚地說(shuō)明了這些人所組成的社會(huì)想要些什么。某些行為是能夠被一個(gè)特定社會(huì)所接受的，而某些行為則不被接受。然而，從很大程度上來(lái)說(shuō)，道德標(biāo)準(zhǔn)不是銘刻于石頭上面的，也不是拜上帝所賜，而是當(dāng)?shù)孛袂榈姆从场２煌纳鐣?huì)對(duì)所可以接受的行為所持的觀點(diǎn)也不同。
5. Make the most of your appearance
Even if you've only got a minute or two, duck into the bathroom to make sure you're looking your best. Brushing your hair, giving your face a good wash, retouching your makeup, straightening your collar, checking you've not got a bit of parsley stuck between your teeth … all of these can make the difference between feeling confident in your physical appearance and feeling anxious about an imagined flaw.
Perfect your physical appearance: There's no denying that one's grooming plays a crucial role in building confidence. Although we know what's on the inside is what truly counts, your physical appearance will be the first to create an impression.
秘訣之五： 呈現(xiàn)你最好的儀表
哪怕只有一兩分鐘的剩余時(shí)間，也要沖進(jìn)盥洗室里進(jìn)行梳妝，以確保自己儀表最佳。梳梳頭、洗洗臉、補(bǔ)補(bǔ)妝、拉拉衣領(lǐng)，檢查一下是否有香芹殘存在自己的牙縫中……這些簡(jiǎn)單動(dòng)作都將消除你對(duì)猜想的不足之處的憂(yōu)慮，而使自己在衣著容貌上看起來(lái)更加自信。
改進(jìn)你的儀態(tài)儀表：毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)，衣著打扮在建立自信的過(guò)程中起著決定性作用。盡管人人都知道，內(nèi)在美才是最重要的，但也無(wú)可否認(rèn)，外在衣著打扮是給人留下深刻印象的第一要素。
6. Pray or meditate briefly
If you believe in a higher power, whether God, or another spiritual force, it can be a real boost to self-confidence to say a silent prayer. （You could also meditate instead of praying.） This helps you to take a step back from your immediate situation, to see the wider picture and to seek help from something or someone greater than yourself. This is a Christian prayer, but you could write something similar that fits your own religious beliefs or spiritual tradition:
Dear God, thank you that you love and accept me as I am … please help me to do the same … and help me to grow to become the person you want me to be so that my God-confidence and self-confidence will increase greatly-all for the glory of your name and not mine. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.
秘訣之六： 作短暫的祈禱或沉思
如果你信仰神靈，不論是上帝，或是其他精神力量，那么，默默地作祈禱就可以成為激勵(lì)自信的一種有效手段。（你也可以用沉思來(lái)代替默默祈禱。）這將使我們暫時(shí)退出當(dāng)前所處的環(huán)境，看得更高更遠(yuǎn)，并向那些比我們自身偉大的神靈尋求幫助。下面是一個(gè)基督教徒的祈禱詞，我們可以參考并寫(xiě)出類(lèi)似的適合你自己宗教信念或精神指引的禱告：
親愛(ài)的上帝，感謝你對(duì)我的愛(ài)和包容……請(qǐng)幫助我，使我愛(ài)您并且投入您的懷抱……請(qǐng)幫助我，讓我成為您所期望的那個(gè)人，使我大大提升對(duì)您的信仰及我的自信--一切榮耀均屬于您的名下，我不會(huì)叨光。感謝您的聆聽(tīng)，感謝您回應(yīng)我的祈禱。希望這個(gè)祈禱能實(shí)現(xiàn)。
7. Reframe
If something unexpected happens, it's easy to let it knock your fledgling self-confidence. Perhaps you spill your drink on someone, you arrive late for the big meeting because of traffic problems, or someone who you wanted to speak to gives you a cold brush-off. Try to "reframe" the situation; put it in the best possible light: often, events are only negative because of the meaning we attach to them.
秘訣之七： 換個(gè)角度看問(wèn)題
如果有意外發(fā)生，往往很容易就能將你剛剛建立的少許自信擊碎。你可能不小心將飲料濺到別人身上，你可能由于交通堵塞而導(dǎo)致在重要會(huì)議上遲到，或者你想要與之交談的某人冷漠地敷衍你等等。試著"換個(gè)角度"看問(wèn)題；往最好的一面去想： 通常，事物之所以具有負(fù)面意義完全是由于我們把自己的主觀思想強(qiáng)加在上面。
8. Find the next step
Keep your self-confidence up by taking gradual steps forwards, rather than freezing when faced with what seems like a giant leap. If you're not sure what to do, look for one simple step that you can take to make progress. That might mean making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking a question of your interviewers that shows your knowledge of their industry and company.
Start taking action even if you don't have a clear idea of what needs to be done. Start moving towards your goal. Make corrections later.
秘訣之八：步步為營(yíng)
通過(guò)步步為營(yíng)的方式來(lái)增強(qiáng)自信，要遠(yuǎn)勝于面對(duì)巨大鴻溝而停滯不前。如果你所處的情況讓你不知何去何從，不妨從簡(jiǎn)單地一步步做起。這就可能意味著是，在聚會(huì)上與別人做目光接觸、把自己介紹給一個(gè)陌生人、打破會(huì)議僵局，或者是問(wèn)面試官一個(gè)問(wèn)題，表明你了解他們所處的行業(yè)及公司。
在還不清楚究竟需要做些什么時(shí)，就開(kāi)始展開(kāi)行動(dòng)，開(kāi)始朝著自己的目標(biāo)前進(jìn)，即使犯了錯(cuò)，遲些更正也不晚。
9. Speak slowly
An easy tip for both seeming and being more self-confidence is to speak slowly. If you gabble, you'll end up feeling worse as you know you're being unclear to your audience or to the person you're in a conversation with. Speaking slowly gives you the chance to think about what you're going to say next. If you're giving a talk or presentation, pause at the end of phrases and sentences to help your audience take in what you've said.
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn't worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn't want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to.
秘訣之九： 放慢說(shuō)話的速度
看起來(lái)顯得比較自信或者成為一個(gè)更加自信的人，一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的秘訣就是放慢語(yǔ)速。如果總是喋喋不休說(shuō)個(gè)不停，那么你的聽(tīng)眾或與你交談的人就會(huì)覺(jué)得你想表達(dá)的意思讓人搞不清楚。放慢語(yǔ)速，你就有機(jī)會(huì)思考接下來(lái)要說(shuō)的內(nèi)容。如果你正在發(fā)言或做推介，那么就請(qǐng)?jiān)诙陶Z(yǔ)或句子結(jié)束之后稍作停頓，讓聽(tīng)眾有時(shí)間對(duì)你所講的內(nèi)容進(jìn)行消化理解。
權(quán)威人士以及代表權(quán)威部門(mén)發(fā)言的人，往往語(yǔ)速比較慢。這說(shuō)明他們很自信。一個(gè)覺(jué)得自己所講的話不值得聽(tīng)的人，往往說(shuō)話猶如放機(jī)關(guān)槍一般快，因?yàn)樗幌胱屓藗優(yōu)椴恢匾闹v話浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。
10. Contribute something
Have you ever sat through an entire class at college or meeting at work without saying a word? Have you had an evening out where friends chatted happily while you sat and stared silently at your drink? Chances are, you weren't feeling very self-confident at the time – and you probably felt even worse afterwards. Whatever the situation you're in, make an effort to contribute. Even if you don't think you have much to say, your thoughts and perspective are valuable to those around you.
By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you'll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
秘訣之十： 積極主動(dòng)開(kāi)口
你是否曾經(jīng)在一節(jié)大學(xué)課堂或者一次工作會(huì)議上干坐著一言不發(fā)？你是否曾經(jīng)在朋友們高興地在晚上聚會(huì)談?wù)摃r(shí)獨(dú)自盯著自己的飲料發(fā)呆？在這種時(shí)刻，相信你不會(huì)感覺(jué)對(duì)自己非常自信--甚至事后，你大概會(huì)感覺(jué)更糟。不管你現(xiàn)在處于哪種狀態(tài)，試著主動(dòng)與人交流吧。即使你覺(jué)得自己無(wú)話可說(shuō)，但是，也許說(shuō)出你的觀點(diǎn)與看法，會(huì)使你周?chē)娜双@益匪淺呢。
每次小組討論之時(shí)，如果至少有一次，你能夠大聲表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)，那么你就會(huì)在公開(kāi)場(chǎng)合作更多的發(fā)言，你對(duì)自己的想法也會(huì)更有自信，同時(shí)也會(huì)被你的同伴認(rèn)為為一個(gè)領(lǐng)袖。
