Use these excuses as freely and as loosely as you want.

1. Great Aspirations
When I grow up, I don’t want to be the President, an astronaut or even a hairdresser. I want to be a homeless street beggar. As far as I know, I don’t need any qualifications for this, except maybe a strange disgusting smell. My life is planned and set.

2. I Am a Pirate
Arrgh, ye black tongued powder monkey! If ye be trying to make me do homework, I’ll sooner dance the hempen jig and see you to Davy Jones! And . . . um . . . arrgh!

3. Intelligent + Awesome = Government Property
I’m sorry that I couldn’t hand in my homework today, but it’s because the government has decided my intelligence is too high for a normal school. They are preparing a testing area for me, but until then, I’m not allowed to use my awesome intelligence for anything.

4. Homework or Punctuality
I was going to do it before coming to school, but then I realized I was late. So it was either being at school or handing in homework, and I so enjoy your company, Ms. Wilson. Fine, I’ll go to the Principal’s office.

5. I Am a Ninja
Hear that voice? That’s me behind you with a katana at your throat. Don’t turn around. I’m only going to say this once. Ninjas don’t do homework. That is all. Away! Crap, I tripped. Cloak of Shadows! Yes, I know that I’m hiding behind your curtains. Yes, Ms. Wilson, I’ll hand it in tomorrow. So close . . .

6. A Pet Problem
My Tamagotchi ate it.

7. I Am a Secret Pirate Ninja Robot Spy
Secret Pirate Ninja Robot Spies are incapable of homework. Homework makes me volatile and dangerous and I might explode with awesome secret pirate ninja robo force.

8. Great, Great, Great and Grand
When my great, great, great grandmother was freed from slavery, she vowed she would never work for someone else again. I intend to honour and preserve her greatness by following in her footsteps and thus I’ll not be doing homework.

9. Procrastinate Forever
Sorry, Ms. Wilson, I can’t hand in my homework. I used diversion tactics and avoided you to put off handing in the homework for so long that I’ve finished school, got a job, and married your daughter. What? You’ll be visiting us everyday? I’ll just go get started on 4 years of homework...

10. Lastly,
I have a lightsaber. Don’t make me use it.

11. (Bonus) The Real Lastly,
I was walking to school when my house exploded! Rushing back, I realized a team of skilled robots had taken over the area my house used to be. I quickly built a nuclear reactor which overheated and exploded, killing them and gifting me with super-powers. Using these super-powers, I saved the town from the space invaders and received the key to the city. That is why I couldn’t do my homework. (Hey, this is so crazy, it just might work. But if it works, I can’t put it in a list of homework excuse that don’t work!) EDIT: Never mind, it didn’t work.

隨心地使用以下這些自由的和懶散的借口吧。

1. 遠(yuǎn)大抱負(fù)

從小,我就沒(méi)有要立志當(dāng)總統(tǒng)、宇航員,甚至當(dāng)一名理發(fā)師。我想成為一個(gè)露宿街頭的乞丐。因?yàn)槲抑��?我并不需要任何的資格去成為一個(gè)乞丐,除了一身奇怪而難聞的氣味。我的人生已經(jīng)如此規(guī)劃好了。

2. 我是一個(gè)海盜

啊,你們這些黑舌頭粉末的猴子!如果你想讓我做作業(yè),我會(huì)立刻跳大麻吉格舞(絞死的隱晦說(shuō)法),送你去和大衛(wèi)·瓊斯見(jiàn)面!而且…呃…啊!

3. 智慧 + 卓越的 = 政府財(cái)產(chǎn)

我很抱歉我今天不能交作業(yè)了,這是因?yàn)檎�府覺(jué)得我的智商對(duì)于普通學(xué)校來(lái)說(shuō)已經(jīng)太高了。他們正在為我準(zhǔn)備一個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn)基地,但在實(shí)驗(yàn)基地建成之前,我不可以使用我的高超智商做任何事情。

4. 作業(yè)或準(zhǔn)時(shí)

我準(zhǔn)備在來(lái)學(xué)校上課之前把作業(yè)做好,但我發(fā)覺(jué)這樣我會(huì)遲到。所以,在來(lái)學(xué)校上課和交作業(yè)之間,只能選擇一個(gè),而我,是如此地?zé)釔?ài)有你的陪伴,威爾遜老師。知道了,我會(huì)到校長(zhǎng)辦公室去的。

5. 我是一個(gè)隱者

聽(tīng)聽(tīng)那聲音? 這是我站在你身后,用武士刀抵著你的喉嚨。千萬(wàn)不要轉(zhuǎn)身,我只準(zhǔn)備說(shuō)一次。隱者是不會(huì)做作業(yè)的。說(shuō)完了。走開(kāi)! 廢物,我走了。隱藏在黑影中。 是的,我知道我正藏在你的窗簾的背面。是的,威爾遜老師,我明天會(huì)交作業(yè)的了。所以,請(qǐng)把窗簾放下來(lái)吧……

6. 寵物問(wèn)題

我的電子寵物把我的作業(yè)吃掉了。

7. 我是一個(gè)海盜隱者秘密間諜機(jī)器人

海盜隱者秘密間諜機(jī)器人是做不了作業(yè)的。作業(yè)使我的性能處于不穩(wěn)定和危險(xiǎn)的狀態(tài),在高性能的神秘海盜隱者機(jī)器人的影響里下我會(huì)爆炸的。

8.曾曾曾祖輩們

當(dāng)我的曾曾曾祖母從奴隸解放后,她發(fā)誓再也不會(huì)再為任何人做事了。為了緬懷和繼承她的偉大貢獻(xiàn),我決定跟隨她的腳步,所以,我是不會(huì)去做作業(yè)的。

9. 不限期推延

對(duì)不起,威爾遜老師,我無(wú)法遞交作業(yè)。我使用轉(zhuǎn)換策略,以避免你用太長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間批改我的作業(yè),一直到我已經(jīng)畢業(yè)、工作,并和你女兒結(jié)婚。什么? 你會(huì)每天都來(lái)探望我們? 我立刻開(kāi)始去把4年的作業(yè)都作完。

10. 最后

我有一把光劍。不要逼迫我使用它啊。

11.(獎(jiǎng)金)真正的最后

在我走路上學(xué)的時(shí)候,我家的房子爆炸了! 急忙往回走,我發(fā)現(xiàn)一隊(duì)智能機(jī)器人已經(jīng)占據(jù)了我家房子原所在地。我以最快的速度建了一座過(guò)熱而且爆炸了的核反應(yīng)堆,把那些機(jī)器人都消滅了,而且我還得到了超能力。擁有了這些超能力,我不僅趕走了來(lái)自地球外的侵略者保衛(wèi)了我們家鄉(xiāng)的安全,而且還得到了通往城市的鑰匙。這就是我不能做作業(yè)的原因(嘿,這是多么瘋狂啊,這只是有可能可行。但是,如果這真的可行,我無(wú)法將這列為沒(méi)有完成作業(yè)的借口之一!) 備注:不用擔(dān)心,這絕對(duì)是行不通的。