You’ll probably run into many people throughout the course of your dating preparations that could be The One, but you’ll never know for sure unless you talk to them. Starting a conversation with a stranger can be daunting, but it doesn’t have to be impossible.

Every conversation runs its course within a similar outline: making first contact, introductions, speaking with each other, and then ending the conversation - hopefully with plans to meet again. To navigate these sometimes scary but usually rewarding waters, read on.

Ice Breakers as Conversation Starters

The purpose of breaking the ice with someone new isn’t to show off your amazing conversational skills. Instead, think of your initial contact as a way to show a potential date that you’d like to talk to them. Some conversation starter ideas to get the words flowing:

* Comment on an item that you both share in your immediate surroundings, such as the long lineup you’re both waiting in or the wobbly chair next to you. By focusing an item you can both experience, you’re removing any potential awkwardness with a canned comment.

* Sometimes a look is all that’s needed to break the ice. When faced with a person you find attractive, why not give them a genuine, 3 second smile? You may be surprised when the object of your happiness starts a conversation with you, instead.

* If there is something the person is or has that truly intrigues you, simply use that as a conversation starter. This could be as simple as admiring a piece of clothing or asking them about the item they ordered.

* A genuine hello coupled with a smile can be equally as effective. A quick, “How are you today?” works too for a straightforward follow up.

Conversation Topics

You’ve made first contact – now what? Conversation starters that seem witty or interesting can be a challenge in the spur of the moment. That’s why spending a little bit of time at home pondering the ‘now what’ will pay, later. You don’t need to invest hours into these conversation starters though. Some quick ideas that can work in a pinch:

* Current event topics of interest to you;

* The last movie you watched;

* A comment about the event you’re attending, with a follow-up question asking how they heard about it.

The point of this exercise is to create a backup of topics that you can draw upon on a moment’s notice to start a conversation that would also be of interest to someone else.

Keep the Conversation Moving Forward

Once the back and forth exchange has begun, it is your responsibility to keep the flow moving – which entails listening, responding and moving seamlessly between topics to create a connection.

For example: say the object of your affections intimated that they came to this particular coffee shop because a friend told them there was free WiFi access and they were excited to try the service out. A great segue to keep this conversation moving forward would be to ask where else they’ve found a good WiFi connection in town. For those not familiar with WiFi, you could ask what WiFi is and how it works.

In a nutshell, listen to what the person responds with and then think to yourself, “What do I know about those particular subjects?” Using the example again, you could easily discuss a myriad of things, such as where electrical plug-ins are located, the best place to sit while working on a laptop, or further inquiries about what kind of work they perform on their laptop.

Focus on taking your own experiences and weaving them in with the other person’s responses. By doing so you’ll be forging a connection with the person, creating hooks of information with which to start a conversation at a later date. To ensure that you are actually conversing, and not just bantering back and forth in a quick succession of questions and answers, try to remember these key points:

* Keep whatever stories or experiences you are sharing to less than a two minute retelling. You can always expand more if the person asks;
* Turn the conversation back to the other person where you can, such as, “What do you think?” or, “How about you?”;
* Try to let your conversation partner do half of the talking, with a natural blend of questions and answers;
* Don’t focus on one topic for too long, and if your talk gravitates to another subject - let it.

Ending a Conversation Gracefully

Every fantastic conversation must eventually finish, so let the conversation you started go gracefully and with style. Don’t provide too much information or go on for half an hour about your common interests. You may feel obligated to continue forward, but why not leave on a great note with your companion wanting more?

Thank the other person for their time and let them know you’ve got something else to do, but you’d like to continue the conversation another time when it’s convenient for the both of you. Using the WiFi situation as an example, you could say, “I’m going to be late for a meeting, but I’d really like to check out the restaurant you mentioned. Perhaps we could continue this conversation there together later on in the week? What do you think?”

After you’ve exchanged contact information, smile and go off to do whatever it is that you’ve moved on to. Make sure to look back just as you are leaving to smile again, acknowledging your newfound acquaintance and allowing them to feel just as special as you do for having met someone new.

在日常生活中，你可能會偶爾遇見一些人。而這些人，如果不同他們說話也許一直都不了解。如果覺得同陌生人說話，有點害羞，那是沒有必要的。

基本上，所有的交談都有類似模式。初次接觸，介紹，互相交流，在期待中結(jié)束此次交談。為了愉悅的掌握一些技巧，繼續(xù)往下看。

做一個打破僵局的交談者

打破僵局不是要你顯示自己出色的交談技巧，而是為了繼續(xù)交談而做的努力。下面是一些常用的話語：

關(guān)于你們共同所處的環(huán)境，比如排隊等待，搖晃的座椅等。話題最好集中在你們共同經(jīng)歷的，你即將離開的不快，不痛不癢的評論。

有時候，一個注視也能很好的打破僵局。當你看到一個有吸引力的人，為什么不給他（她）一個3秒鐘的友好微笑呢？你會驚奇的發(fā)現(xiàn)，交談的快樂就源于此。

如果有人或事確實激起你的好奇心，這也可作為交談的開始。就像一件衣服吸引你，叫別人領取他們點的單一樣簡單。

帶著微笑的問好也同樣非常有效。簡單的你好也同樣可以很好繼續(xù)交談下去。

交流話題

你已經(jīng)初次接觸了，接下來呢？可以從大家比較感興趣的話題開始。這就是為什么很多人都在家花點時間來考慮該怎么進行。但是，你沒必要花太多時間在這上面。如果需要，一些簡單的話題也有作用：

時下的感興趣話題、事情；

你上次看的電影；

關(guān)于你正在參與的事情，詢問他們對此的看法。

這項練習的重點在于你能拉出一串你感興趣而同事別人也感興趣的話題。

繼續(xù)話題

當一來一回后，你就有必要將話題延續(xù)了—包括傾聽，響應，準確無誤的繼續(xù)話題。

舉個例子。你很好的朋友一同來到咖啡屋，因為有一朋友告訴他有WiFi并且他們已經(jīng)試過服務了。一個很好的繼續(xù)就是詢問他們城里哪有好的免費WiFi？而對那些不大熟悉WiFi的時候，你可以詢問它是什么及如何工作的。

其實很簡單，你只要認真傾聽對方說什么以及如何反應的，再自己反問“在這個領域，我了解些什么？”這樣，你很容易就能夠討論很多事情，比如電腦插件程序一般在哪，用筆記本工作的最好去處，更或是問問他們一般用筆記本來做什么工作。

側(cè)重于你自己的經(jīng)歷并能征得別人的看法。這樣你就能很好的融入到其中，并為以后的繼續(xù)提供了信息。為確保你是在交談而不是問答，最好能夠記住這樣一些要點：

利用2分鐘時間來復述你所要分享的故事或者經(jīng)歷。如果有人提問你能夠擴展開來；

在適當?shù)臅r候回問對方，比如“對此，你怎么看呢？”“你怎么樣？”

盡量在自然的問答間，保持對方交談的量不少于一半；

不要在同一話題上耗時太長，如果不注意把話題轉(zhuǎn)到其他方面，沒關(guān)系，就這樣。

結(jié)束美好的交談

任何一個美妙的交談都有結(jié)束的時候，所以讓你的談話在美妙種結(jié)束。不要一口氣說太多或者在雙方興趣點上耗時太多。你可能很想繼續(xù)，但為什么不留下讓對方期待的東西呢？

當別人給你的時間并讓你知道你還有其他事情可做時候，該謝謝他們，而你卻想另找時間繼續(xù)這個話題。就納WiFi位置的事情打比方，有可以說“我有個會議要開，現(xiàn)在要遲到了。但我很想知道你們說的餐廳具體位置在哪，可不可以晚點找個時間再一起說說？你們看呢？”

當你們互換聯(lián)系方式后，暫時停止并微笑著離開。這樣，當回想起來時候仍記得你的微笑，感覺與認識一個特別的你。