BARKING orders works if you’re the boss, but what hope is there for a lesser mortal asking favours from a teammate in another time zone, for example? The answer is zero unless you’ve polished your powers of persuasion until they shine. Here’s how to influence others to get what you want at work: 

    1. Who’s in charge? To wrap your boss around your little finger, work out what is important to him or her, says Octavius Black, managing director of The Mind Gym, a training company. “Give him or her what they want so they are relaxed and on board,” he says. “Then you can move in [and ask] for what you want.” 

    2. Call in favours. Research shows that people are more likely to help you if you have done something for them first, says Steve Martin, the UK head of Influence at Work, a consultancy and training firm. “Good business people . . . understand this and look to invest in others, knowing that when they need help they have a network of obligation that they can call on.” 

    3. Resolving a dispute. If you want to turn a discussion in your favour, forget what someone is telling you and really listen to find out what lies behind his or her argument, Black says. Empha-sise any points of agreement before suggesting a solution that meets their interests and, importantly, satisfies your own. 

    4. Find common ground. Colleagues are more likely to say yes to you if they think that you have something in common, Martin says. Find out what you can about a prospective contact and then say if you graduated from the same university before making your request. A negotiation is more likely to be successful if such personal links are established. 

    5. The power of authority. You are more likely to get others to respond positively to a request if they think that you’re an expert, Martin says. Find a colleague to introduce you as a know-it-all to boost your standing before asking the new contact to support you or your work. 

    6. Win or lose? "We are most influenced by the idea of losing something than the idea of gaining the same thing,” Martin says. We are also more likely to follow the crowd in periods of uncertainty. So, when you write a proposal, underline what the firm stands to lose. 

    7. Press delete. Don’t copy too many correspondents into an e-mail if you want anyone to respond, Martin says. “People will read lots of names and think that someone else will deal with it, and as a result no one does.” 

    8. Don’t get carried away. If you’re found bending the truth to get your own way, your colleagues are unlikely to be swayed by your arguments in the future. 

    9. Coach yourself. Sometimes you have to talk yourself into the things that you want such as a big promotion, says Rachel Brushfield, a career coach at Energise, an executive coaching service. Take time out to ask yourself open questions about a goal such as, “What do I really want?” she says. Write down the answers then take simple actions to move your plans forward. 

    10. Yes, you can. Self-confidence goes a long way in getting you what you want. Ask friends and colleagues to give you some feedback on your qualities and achievements. Keep the comments in a happy notes file and read it when you need a shot of confidence, Brushfield says. 

    如果你是老板，你盡可以大聲咆哮、發(fā)號(hào)施令。但是一個(gè)地位不高的凡夫俗子向身處另一個(gè)時(shí)區(qū)的團(tuán)隊(duì)成員尋求幫助的希望又有多大呢？除非磨礪你的說(shuō)服本領(lǐng)、使它如利刃般閃閃發(fā)光、無(wú)往不利，否則你就毫無(wú)希望。下面談?wù)勅绾卧诠ぷ髦杏绊懰�人，使你的工作心想事成�?br />
    ⒈誰(shuí)說(shuō)話算話？施展手段摸清你的老板，搞清楚他最看中什么，奧克塔維斯·布萊克如是說(shuō)；他是”思想訓(xùn)練館“－－ 一家培訓(xùn)公司，的執(zhí)行董事。他說(shuō)：”他們要什么給他們什么，讓他們精神放松，登上你的戰(zhàn)船。然后，你再走上前去，提出要求。“

    ⒉收回好處。作為“工作影響力”，一家咨詢培訓(xùn)公司的英國(guó)部門(mén)主任，斯蒂夫·馬丁說(shuō)，研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，人們更愿意在他人首先幫助自己的情況下幫助他人。他說(shuō)：“優(yōu)秀的商人……明白這一點(diǎn)并期望在他人身上投資；因?yàn)樗麄冎�道，在需要幫助的時(shí)候，他們就有一個(gè)欠你的人情關(guān)系網(wǎng)可以指望回報(bào)。

    ⒊解決糾紛。布萊克說(shuō)，如果你想把一項(xiàng)討論變得對(duì)自己有利，那就不要糾纏他人說(shuō)的話，而要仔細(xì)傾聽(tīng)、小心地找出在他意見(jiàn)后面隱藏的潛臺(tái)詞。強(qiáng)調(diào)雙方的一致意見(jiàn)，然后再提出符合對(duì)方利益的，更重要的是，滿足你自己需求的解決辦法。

    ⒋找出共同點(diǎn)。馬丁說(shuō)，如果同事發(fā)現(xiàn)你和他有共同點(diǎn)，他更有可能同意你的要求。盡可能找到要同你打交道的人的資料，先聊聊你們倆畢業(yè)于同一所大學(xué)，接著再提你的要求。如果能建立這樣的人情關(guān)系，談判就更可能成功。

    ⒌權(quán)威的力量。馬丁認(rèn)為，如果人們認(rèn)為你是個(gè)專(zhuān)家，人們更可能對(duì)你的要求作出積極的響應(yīng)。接觸一個(gè)新關(guān)系時(shí)，先找同事作個(gè)介紹，把你說(shuō)成是無(wú)所不知，提高你的身價(jià)；然后再讓你的新關(guān)系支持你或你的工作。

    ⒍贏得還失去？馬丁說(shuō)，我們更容易受到失去某種東西的想法左右，而不是受到得到同一樣?xùn)|西的念頭影響，在不安的時(shí)刻人們也容易隨大流。因此，在寫(xiě)計(jì)劃書(shū)時(shí)，要突出公司可能會(huì)失去的東西。

    ⒎使用刪除鍵。如果你想讓別人給你回信，馬丁說(shuō)，不要往伊妹兒中粘貼太多的聯(lián)系人。“人們看到許多的名字，他們會(huì)想還有別人會(huì)管這事，結(jié)果沒(méi)有人回你的信。”

    ⒏不要喪失原則。如果同事發(fā)現(xiàn)，你為了達(dá)到目的而歪曲事實(shí)，那么將來(lái)你怎么說(shuō)也很難改變他們的觀點(diǎn)。

    ⒐自我教育。雷切爾·布拉施菲爾德說(shuō)，有時(shí)你只有說(shuō)服自己來(lái)實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的愿望，比如升職。她是一家管理人員輔導(dǎo)機(jī)構(gòu)－－”激勵(lì)“，的職業(yè)訓(xùn)練師。她說(shuō)，花點(diǎn)時(shí)間，問(wèn)問(wèn)自己有關(guān)職業(yè)目標(biāo)的問(wèn)題，例如，”我真正想要的是什么？“記下你的答案，然后采取簡(jiǎn)單的行動(dòng)來(lái)推進(jìn)你的計(jì)劃。

    10.你能行。在實(shí)現(xiàn)你的愿望過(guò)程中，自信十分重要。征詢一下朋友和同事對(duì)你的能力和成就的評(píng)價(jià)。布拉施菲爾德說(shuō)，將這些評(píng)論寫(xiě)在一個(gè)記錄快樂(lè)的紙條上，當(dāng)你需要一些自信來(lái)激勵(lì)自己時(shí)，就讀讀它